Issue 9 | 13 Jan. 2007

Couldn't Care Less (Government)

By Deepak M. Rao

On a wintry morning, I did something unusual: Browse the net trying to figure out the meanings of words like, of all things, inflation, purchasing power parity, GDP and cash flow and stuff like that. I educated myself with these economic blizzards (what are they??) over as many number of cups of capi as my system could cope with, w.o. getting stoned in the process. Why did I do this, of all the things in the world? Well, it was that time of my life when I had to pay my first installment of tax to the Government. Every time I thought of the money that I would have to give away to the Government I felt the pain one feels when one loses his U2-signed iPod. What will the Treasury do with my money? How would it be spent?

As the day rolled silently, I began to pacify myself. Maybe, the roads I travel on would be tarred with the money. And the old man sitting in the corner would be taken into one of the state-funded old-age homes. The ground next to my house would be cleared of the garbage. And hey! the street lights might be replaced with new ones.

Rewind Twenty Five Years

A job in a bank is no small achievement. And as Pop and Mom ride in their two-wheeler bike to work, they worry about two things in particular. Yearend work and March tax cuts. While Father as usual takes things in his stride without really putting the grey matter to work, Mother is worried. Why pay tax to the Government? Her brows are furried with worry, as she thinks: 'I take three buses from home to the work place. And my taxes will not lead to better transport facilities. So why not burden ourselves with all kinds of loans under the sun so as to avert taxes.

Fast Forward Thirty years

While the taxes are continued to be paid, the roads remain as bad as ever. My solution: 'I shift localities. I try my best to avert any tax. Most of my property is in the name of my grandmother who is a senior citizen enjoying tax benefits. I also burden myself with all the loans that I can afford to avert tax. The old man at the end of my street died a horrible death last year. But who cares? We have paid our taxes and washed ourselves of all responsibility. And the Government stays blissfully unaware of the death.

It's a mystery why the dictionary doesn't give the meaning of the word 'Government' as 'couldn't care less'…