Issue 5 | 16 Dec. 2006

PC handles claim on resources
By KSM

Finance Minister Chidambaram was late to his office due to an unusually long traffic jam which surprised him because it was not even 7 am. "I think the economy is really on a roll, because people are going this early to office," he told his driver.
"Yes, Sir, like me," he agreed.

"After this Q2's performance, it will only get better," he said.

"In other words, it's going to get worse, as we have to leave even more early to office," the driver muttered to himself.

At his office, in front of his chambers, very large crowds of people had gathered waiting patiently for his arrival. He managed to somehow get in, and asked Murugan, his PS, to explain the commotion.

"Who are all these people and why are they here?" he demanded.

Murugan sighed a deep sigh and said softly: "They are here because of the PMO."

"PMO? What do you mean?"

Murugan looked surprised. "You don't know? They are all here because of the PM's statement that the minorities, especially the Muslims, have the first claim on the country's resources."

The FM looked baffled and glanced at the swarming crowds outside. Most of those present were Muslims. "And so?" he asked.

"They have come here to stake their claim on the resources."

"Call RBI and find out how much money there is in our account," the FM commanded.

Murugan looked sheepishly at his boss. "Sorry Sir, YV Reddy called a few minutes earlier to say that one Mr Mohammad Yousuf and his family members have already staked claim on the RBI and he had no option other than to accept their claim."

"What? " the FM was aghast but recovered quickly and said, "But what about my passbook, cheque book, etc?"

"No problem, Sir, Reddy has sent them to us. We have Rs 97,000 crore with us, excluding the forex reserves account."

"And what about our commitments? How much do we have to take care of, before, er, accepting the claims of er..the public?"

Murugan glanced at a sheaf of papers in his hand and read out: "After taking into account outstanding interest payments, government salaries, etc we have around Rs 97,000 with us."

The FM looked surprised. "That's all? I thought we have surplus of around Rs one lakh."

"We have Sir, but that is including the outstanding payment towards our office canteen. We better pay these dues right away Sir, before Alimuddin, our canteen supervisor thinks staking a claim on the canteen."

The FM looked at the crowd outside and said: "How many people do you think are there?"
"Around one lakh, Sir."

He looked pleased and said: "Tell the people that I am coming out to make an announcement before them."
Murugan stared wide-eyed at his boss.

"Don't worry, Murugan," said Chidambaram. "We'll tell the people that everyone will get their equal share, which will be around Rs one per head."