The Big Story?

India This! India That!

By Murli

Phew! Turning sixty never seemed so sexy! You have seen the headlines screaming all over from Los Angeles to London to Ludhiana: India, the Emerging Superpower! India, the Elephant Awakens! India, This!! India, That!! So what is the FUSS all about, da? For those of you who are not in a) Los Angeles b) London c) Ludhiana, and who have missed the bus, here are sixteen reasons (not sixty, you can add the rest) why India is the Big Story To Tell Future Generations That This Is What Happens When You Turn Sixty And Yet Feel Like Sixteen:

1) In which other country can politicians promise everything under the sun, forget them the second they are voted, and yet get your vote the next time?

2) Where else can you commit nuisance (free latrine permitted for children under 16) in the center of the road, in full view of the public, and sometimes featured by a watchful, vigilant TV channel?

3) Name the cricket team that boasts of players with the biggest scores, who have been playing ever since the First War of Indian Independence (well, almost), and who are next only to the minnows of the game.

4) Also, the richest sports board is ruled by politicians who can’t tell bat from ball.

5) Ah, our TV commentariat. Where else can you find people like this who are too “secularized” to say anything good about our country, Indian values, our heritage, etc?

6) In which other country can you poke fun, ridicule, and humiliate the majority of its people, the people who form 8 out of 10 Indians?

7) And in which other country will the majority keep mum, wondering if they should join the mass whip lashing movement?

8) Which country gives you total, unbridled, freedom on the roads – you can drive left, right and center, turn from right extreme to left, and vice versa, take a detour, without bothering about the vehicles all over the place. Traffic discipline? It’s not written in the Constitution.

9) And even if is, we can always get it amended, for India @ 60, is a FREEEEEEEE, Republic, dammit!

10) Can you name any other country where a PM is charged with buying MPs, and the MP goes to jail?

11) Where good roads, assured water and power supply, efficient drainage, etc are found only in/and around Rashtrapati Bhavan, Raj Bhavan, Vidhana Soudha, etc?

12) Where the most patriotic-minded are to be found abroad (because it is not politically correct to be patriotic in India).