Issue 10 | 20 Jan. 2007

Tips from Sri Sri

How To Be A New, Happy You

• Implement changes if needed: Life is a combination of both, change and non-change. So, use your intelligence and courageously implement changes when you feel that there is a need for change.

• Identify your limitations: Every time you are unhappy or miserable, you are just coming in touch with your own boundaries! And what can you do? You can just feel thankful: "Oh, I came in touch with my boundary, my limitation."

• Do not lose your friends: Mistakes keep happening all the time. Don't make a mistake by pointing out mistakes! Once a lady came to me (Sri Sri) and said her husband had lied to her. She was very upset. I asked, "Why does your husband lie to you? Because he loves you, and is afraid to lose your love or hurt you. If he did not love you, he wouldn't lie to you!"

Do not tell a person a mistake he knows he has committed. By doing this, you will only make him feel more guilty. A magnanimous person will not pick on the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty; he will correct them with compassion and care.

• Don't look for perfection: Many a time, you become angry or miserable because of the feverishness for perfection. If you are too much of a perfectionist, you are bound to be an angry person.

When we are joyful, we don't look for perfection. If you are looking for perfection, then you are not at the source of joy. Joy is the realization that there is no vacation from wisdom. The world appears imperfect on the surface but, underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides, imperfections shows off.

In this world, everything cannot be perfect all the time. Even the best, the greatest of actions, performed with the noblest of intentions, will have some imperfections. It is but natural.

• Let us be unpredictable: We often behave like machines. A compliment makes us smile and an insult makes us frown. We don't have to react in the same way always. You have the freedom to respond differently. You don't have to answer all questions posed to you. As people have a right to question, you have the right whether to answer or not. So, be unpredictable!

• Have a sense of humour: You are endowed with certain naughtiness as a child. Keep it alive. Humour will grease all tough situations. How does one cultivate a sense of humour? Humour is not just words, it is the lightness of your being. You do not have to read and repeat jokes. Taking life not too seriously (because you will never come out of it alive!). Having a sense of belongingness with everybody, including those who are not friendly. Practicing yoga and meditation. Having unshakable faith in the Divine and in the laws of karma. Being in the company of those who live in knowledge and are humorous. A willingness to be a clown.

• Don't be afraid to make mistakes: Whenever a boundary is broken, it creates some fear. The fear creates dislike. This dislike puts us back in the boundary. And to keep yourself in the boundary you put forth defenses. When you try to defend your position, it is such a stress. Every time you try to defend your position, it makes you more and more weak. Drop all your defenses. When you are totally defenseless, that's when you'll be strong.

So, don't be afraid to make mistakes, but not the same mistakes. You have got be innovative even in your mistakes!

• Overcome your prejudice: Your prejudice against gender, religion, caste and class does not allow you to mingle with everyone around you. Often, you don't sit with people who are not economically or socially at par with you. You have to learn to break that barrier.

• Feel that "I am blessed": The feeling that 'I am blessed' can help you overcome any failure. Once you realize that you are blessed then, all the complaints disappear, all the grumbling disappears, all the insecurities disappear, a sense of not being loved disappears and wanting love disappears.

• Do random acts of kindness: Our service should not be mechanical. Once some boy scouts were at a Sunday service, when the priest said, "You should serve." They asked, "What is this service? Could you give us some example?" He said, "Suppose an old woman wants to cross a road, go and help her cross the road."

So the boys went and looked for a whole week, but there was no old woman trying to cross a street. Finally, four of them found a woman walking on a footpath. One of the boys went and asked her, "Madam, would you like to cross the road?" She turned and said, "No." He was disappointed. So another boy went and asked her again, thinking, perhaps, that the first boy hadn't asked properly. The woman was now a little bit confused. She wondered why she was being asked this. So, she said, it was all right for him to take her across the road. Once they had reached the other side, a third boy came and asked her, "Would you like to cross the road?" Now it really bothered her. When the fourth one approached her, she almost screamed and ran away!

You don't have to plan acts of kindness. Just do something spontaneously.

• Be a student, always: Know that you are a student forever. There is a nice story. A man earned a lot of money and then gave all his property to his son. The son then built a small house behind his big house and told his parents: "Now you have to stay there." So the old couple stayed there, while the son and his family lived in the bungalow. One day, while playing, the grandchild came to his grandfather's home, where everything was in pathetic condition. The grandchild said, "Grandpa, be careful with your plate and chair. Don't break them." When he asked why, the child said, "Because tomorrow, my father will need them." One does not realize this fact. You are also going to be old one day.

• Dream the impossible: Unless you have a dream, you cannot realize it. Every invention has come out of a dream. Dream the impossible. Do something creative. Not a year should pass without doing something creative.

• Compare your performance: As we flip the calendar, we need to keep flipping our mind as well. Learn and unlearn from the past, and move on. A poor man celebrates the New Year once a year. A rich man celebrates each day. But the richest man celebrates every moment. Be ever new, happy you!!